I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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