I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
