I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
splinters make it hard to masturbate
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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