I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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