Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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