this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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