it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
