He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
the liver wants what the liver wants
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
