just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
