Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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