david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
