College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize