you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
