Sry I called you an 8
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
