Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
