So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
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you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
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im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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