You're so nebulous sometimes
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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