i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Less talking, more tequila
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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