i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Randomize
