So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
even my farts smell like vagina
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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