.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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