Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
