I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
