i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
