I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Randomize
