all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize