Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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