Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
