Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
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