Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Is Oprah even human
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
