Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
