This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Alive.
So much puke
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
