I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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