Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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