Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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