Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
