so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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