i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize