hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
