I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
