Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
