It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
