It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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