Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
