I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
