5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
