i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
