i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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