I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
