I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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