just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
