we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
