Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
