party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
