I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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