there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I think I am morally bankrupt
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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