I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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