Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize
