Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
