I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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