Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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